Our resistance to change

 “Unless you are a monastic, your life is probably characterized by a lot of resistance, especially to change,” Arthur C. Brooks wrote in April. Even the most adventurous people are susceptible to this, because change almost always means an uncertain or challenging future. Luckily, there are ways to figure out what’s holding you back—and ways to find release from those restraints.

Researchers have found that our resistance to change is rooted in at least four sources: routine seeking, emotional reaction to imposed change, a short-term focus, and a reluctance to rethink things. Scholars have also argued that change-resistance can be epigenetic—a trait that becomes heritable by modifying how genes are expressed at a cellular level.

“This helps explain why most people naturally resist change—whether that change involves becoming single even when a relationship has gone south, remaining in a job that bores you, or staying put in a city you haven’t liked for years,” Brooks continued. “And that also explains why, as natural as change-resistance is, it tends not to improve your happiness.”

There are, however, ways to tackle situations where resistance feels natural but is lowering the quality of your life. One method is to focus on process, not outcome. “Resisting an outcome you probably have little control over will make you miserable,” Brooks wrote. “So, instead, allow yourself to work on the processes that you can control more, and you will feel better.”

Another way to curtail resistance is to practice mindful absorption. “This will improve your performance and reduce your stress,” Brooks continued. “Say, for example, that your romantic relationship is in trouble: Shelve your fear that your partner might leave you at some future date, and instead be mindful of your role in the relationship today and what you can do to make it better.” Being fully present and attentive as a partner, Brooks wrote, “gives you a better chance of success—if not in this relationship, then in your next one.”